Sebenarnya,susah benar untuk aku meluahkan perasaan aku yang terpendam di sudut hatiku. Mengapakah aku harus diberi layanan yang telah mengguris hati aku ini? Apakah aku telah mengkhianati mereka? Apakah aku telah menyindir mereka sehinggakan mereka harus memberi aku layanan seperti ini? Aku mencari jawapannya di sudut hati aku ini tetapi aku sedar dan aku tahu bahawa aku ini tidak bersalah dan aku tidak pernah mengkhianati ataupun menyindir mereka. Aku seorang yang lemah lembut hatinya dan tidak akan mencoteng arang di muka orang. Walau bagaimanapun rakan-rakan karibku menyokong aku tetapi susah benar untuk aku melarikan diri dari kenyataan.....Aku akan berterus-terang di sini.
Its hard for me to speak out the 'feeling' deep in my heart. Why do I have to get back this fucking treatment that left a big scar in my heart? Have I ever treat them badly? Have I ever offended or hurt their feelings? Have I ever do anything of that sort?? NO! I have not. I did nothing of that sort and I know that I'm not in the wrong. I admit that I'm quite gullible and soft-hearted but that doesn't mean all of you could step on my head?! Although my best friends assured me that I'm not that any sort,I'm still feeling that 'feeling'.
What 'feeling'? I don't know it myself but I know my heart's been pierced by those fucking words they have thrown to me! Not only that,I've lost all the confidence and high self-esteem that I once used to have in me. Its all gone all because of THEM! Now, when I walk in public I just can't lift my head high..instead I will bury my eyes on the ground reluctant to look at anyone, afraid of the world around me..
I'm feeling not right deep inside of my heart! I know that my best friends are willing to listen to my sorrows but sometimes I just don't know where to start and perhaps sometimes most things are better to keep it quiet. But things cannot be kept inside for a long time. Hmm,I was wrong. Perhaps its better to speak up than to keep it to yourself. I'm burning inside!!! Hatiku menjerit-jerit dan ingin melupakan kisah-kisah masa lalu yang penuh menyakitkan hati aku ini. I still don't and can't understand why do i have to suffer all this shit?!!! It doesn't happen to me ONCE, or TWICE but it has happen to me COUNTLESS times. Yes,its true that people won't prolong the "conversation" about me but its not always the same person.. It keeps changing...
Maybe its time to speak the truth..... Maybe its not.. I don't know...!!
I know I am lacking of what the other boys have - manliness. Do you think I want to be like this? Do you think I like being one? And if you ever asked, "Why do Ahmad act like that?" I can't give you an answer 'cause I don't know it myself! Fuck la..
All I know is that I'm feeling very miserable.And all I want now is to go somewhere serene, tranquil and a place which can ease my mind,alone though. I'm hoping to run away from home tomorrow,just for the whole afternoon.....if i had one wish. Sigh.
Just don't call me Bapok, Pondan or Aqua. RAHHHHHHHHH!!! Oh by the way DUDES,please get a life..!!
No Promises - Shayne Ward
Written on: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 Time: 11:16 pm
Sebenarnya,susah benar untuk aku meluahkan perasaan aku yang terpendam di sudut hatiku. Mengapakah aku harus diberi layanan yang telah mengguris hati aku ini? Apakah aku telah mengkhianati mereka? Apakah aku telah menyindir mereka sehinggakan mereka harus memberi aku layanan seperti ini? Aku mencari jawapannya di sudut hati aku ini tetapi aku sedar dan aku tahu bahawa aku ini tidak bersalah dan aku tidak pernah mengkhianati ataupun menyindir mereka. Aku seorang yang lemah lembut hatinya dan tidak akan mencoteng arang di muka orang. Walau bagaimanapun rakan-rakan karibku menyokong aku tetapi susah benar untuk aku melarikan diri dari kenyataan.....Aku akan berterus-terang di sini.
Its hard for me to speak out the 'feeling' deep in my heart. Why do I have to get back this fucking treatment that left a big scar in my heart? Have I ever treat them badly? Have I ever offended or hurt their feelings? Have I ever do anything of that sort?? NO! I have not. I did nothing of that sort and I know that I'm not in the wrong. I admit that I'm quite gullible and soft-hearted but that doesn't mean all of you could step on my head?! Although my best friends assured me that I'm not that any sort,I'm still feeling that 'feeling'.
What 'feeling'? I don't know it myself but I know my heart's been pierced by those fucking words they have thrown to me! Not only that,I've lost all the confidence and high self-esteem that I once used to have in me. Its all gone all because of THEM! Now, when I walk in public I just can't lift my head high..instead I will bury my eyes on the ground reluctant to look at anyone, afraid of the world around me..
I'm feeling not right deep inside of my heart! I know that my best friends are willing to listen to my sorrows but sometimes I just don't know where to start and perhaps sometimes most things are better to keep it quiet. But things cannot be kept inside for a long time. Hmm,I was wrong. Perhaps its better to speak up than to keep it to yourself. I'm burning inside!!! Hatiku menjerit-jerit dan ingin melupakan kisah-kisah masa lalu yang penuh menyakitkan hati aku ini. I still don't and can't understand why do i have to suffer all this shit?!!! It doesn't happen to me ONCE, or TWICE but it has happen to me COUNTLESS times. Yes,its true that people won't prolong the "conversation" about me but its not always the same person.. It keeps changing...
Maybe its time to speak the truth..... Maybe its not.. I don't know...!!
I know I am lacking of what the other boys have - manliness. Do you think I want to be like this? Do you think I like being one? And if you ever asked, "Why do Ahmad act like that?" I can't give you an answer 'cause I don't know it myself! Fuck la..
All I know is that I'm feeling very miserable.And all I want now is to go somewhere serene, tranquil and a place which can ease my mind,alone though. I'm hoping to run away from home tomorrow,just for the whole afternoon.....if i had one wish. Sigh.
Just don't call me Bapok, Pondan or Aqua. RAHHHHHHHHH!!! Oh by the way DUDES,please get a life..!!
