I am so bloody pissed with my idiotic bro. Must he tell everything to my parents. Why must he sabotage me and disrupt my privacy.I know that parents have to right to know about what we have been doing and all that shit but I just hate it when someone just intrude in my privacy. You know he will tend to sit beside me whenever I use the computer and when I go somewhere or do anything,he will know. He will know everthing. When I blog,he will read and he can understand what I wrote.Most of the time,I hate that but I just can't get rid of him. Ya,you might think that what a big brother am I..Can't even ask him to go out. And worst,I can't even control him when he disturb & irritates me.. Laugh and gossip about me for all I care!!! I have been very patient when people gossips about me. I don't scold them or argue with them..I just keep it to myself! And I'm used to friends or people who gossip about how sissy,bapok,pondan I am.I don't argue with them back. I just don't care about what other people say about me but people has feelings right..They laugh, cry, feels sad, depressed,feels happy..I have feelings too and most of the time,I will sit in one corner..isolated from the rest of the people and think back about what other people has been talking about me.. Worst still,people will talk about how I behave,how sissy and aqua I am..Some has even said that I behave like a girl,walks like a girl..my butt shake like a girl when I walk..how flabby my cheeks is!And some, laughs and giggle when they see me act like a girl..I will just ignore what they said but HAVE YOU GUYS THOUGHT ABOUT HOW THIS CHAP WILL FEEL LIKE??!! I feel very very sad, heartbroken..I can't describe how I exactly feel but you just imagine yourself being the one who always got pick and bullied by your friends..How would you feel??!! You tell me...

I've always wanted to be like a normal guy..acts like a real dude,behaves like one but I've tried so hard but to no avail.I've even tried to act like one. What have I done in my past life that I deserves this kind of attitude and attention. Worst,some of my friends have even gossip about me but I just don't give it a damn. God,its really the worst feeling I've ever tasted and it sucks!! Guys from my school will wonder why I will usually clique with my girl friends and they will think that why is this guy have more girl friends than boy friends .. I know this cos they will stare at me and give me that fucking face of theirs. Wanna know why?! ITS BECAUSE I ACT LIKE SISSY,BEHAVES LIKE ONE AND ALL GUYS DESPISE ME COS OF THAT!! AND THEY HATE TO CLIQUE WITH ME COS I'M GIRLY AND THEY LOATHE GUYS WHICH ARE SISSY!!!! Am I right dudes?? Hah,guess I am!! Isn't it why that I much more closer with my sisters and girl friends from drama freaks. I've always wonder why am I treated like this. I never ever tell anyone about this issue not even to my best friend cos I feel that I can't trust them in this matter. Why why do some times ALL my guy friends treat me in a different manner and why do girls dislike me too??!! I have this question in my heart for so many bloody years and it hasn't been answerd yet!! Who can I trust huh??!! NO ONE not even to my treasured buds. Some times I just feel that I'm better off without any friends. LONELY.. Its better cos I need not tolerate these bloody comments from people.UURRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!

I'm just asking you guys a favour not to treat me in a different manner..I want to be treated like everyone else.haiz..And guys please don't hate me!! I want more guy friends!! Thats my wish for so many years but.........haiz.... You know how I feel right now?!! I feel like crying and I want to venge my anger that has been kept in my heart for almost 4 yrs.. WHO??? WHO CAN I APPROACH?!!! ARE YOU WILLING TO LISTEN TO ME? ARE YOU WILLING TO LEND ME YOUR SHOULDERS?? ARE YOU WILLING TO DO ALL THAT?? Though I had loads of friends but I just don't know which one is my best friend..who can I count on?? Nadia,Ridtz,Matthew, Uma,Matz..... WHO????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will they be there for me like what we've been always saying whenever we meet??!!haiz...I wanna tok to someone but WHO?!!! I just feel like being alone..where no one disturbs me,where I can just sit silently and be ALONE..but where,when?!! I doubt that my parents will consent me to go out..haiz...

Anyway guys,this isn't why I'm pissed with my bro..But it just struck me when I'm wrting this.. To those who have took great pains by reading this entry..My apology!!

In his deepest thoughts!!haiz..

I am so bloody pissed with my idiotic bro. Must he tell everything to my parents. Why must he sabotage me and disrupt my privacy.I know that parents have to right to know about what we have been doing and all that shit but I just hate it when someone just intrude in my privacy. You know he will tend to sit beside me whenever I use the computer and when I go somewhere or do anything,he will know. He will know everthing. When I blog,he will read and he can understand what I wrote.Most of the time,I hate that but I just can't get rid of him. Ya,you might think that what a big brother am I..Can't even ask him to go out. And worst,I can't even control him when he disturb & irritates me.. Laugh and gossip about me for all I care!!! I have been very patient when people gossips about me. I don't scold them or argue with them..I just keep it to myself! And I'm used to friends or people who gossip about how sissy,bapok,pondan I am.I don't argue with them back. I just don't care about what other people say about me but people has feelings right..They laugh, cry, feels sad, depressed,feels happy..I have feelings too and most of the time,I will sit in one corner..isolated from the rest of the people and think back about what other people has been talking about me.. Worst still,people will talk about how I behave,how sissy and aqua I am..Some has even said that I behave like a girl,walks like a girl..my butt shake like a girl when I walk..how flabby my cheeks is!And some, laughs and giggle when they see me act like a girl..I will just ignore what they said but HAVE YOU GUYS THOUGHT ABOUT HOW THIS CHAP WILL FEEL LIKE??!! I feel very very sad, heartbroken..I can't describe how I exactly feel but you just imagine yourself being the one who always got pick and bullied by your friends..How would you feel??!! You tell me...

I've always wanted to be like a normal guy..acts like a real dude,behaves like one but I've tried so hard but to no avail.I've even tried to act like one. What have I done in my past life that I deserves this kind of attitude and attention. Worst,some of my friends have even gossip about me but I just don't give it a damn. God,its really the worst feeling I've ever tasted and it sucks!! Guys from my school will wonder why I will usually clique with my girl friends and they will think that why is this guy have more girl friends than boy friends .. I know this cos they will stare at me and give me that fucking face of theirs. Wanna know why?! ITS BECAUSE I ACT LIKE SISSY,BEHAVES LIKE ONE AND ALL GUYS DESPISE ME COS OF THAT!! AND THEY HATE TO CLIQUE WITH ME COS I'M GIRLY AND THEY LOATHE GUYS WHICH ARE SISSY!!!! Am I right dudes?? Hah,guess I am!! Isn't it why that I much more closer with my sisters and girl friends from drama freaks. I've always wonder why am I treated like this. I never ever tell anyone about this issue not even to my best friend cos I feel that I can't trust them in this matter. Why why do some times ALL my guy friends treat me in a different manner and why do girls dislike me too??!! I have this question in my heart for so many bloody years and it hasn't been answerd yet!! Who can I trust huh??!! NO ONE not even to my treasured buds. Some times I just feel that I'm better off without any friends. LONELY.. Its better cos I need not tolerate these bloody comments from people.UURRRGGGGHHH!!!!!!!

I'm just asking you guys a favour not to treat me in a different manner..I want to be treated like everyone else.haiz..And guys please don't hate me!! I want more guy friends!! Thats my wish for so many years but.........haiz.... You know how I feel right now?!! I feel like crying and I want to venge my anger that has been kept in my heart for almost 4 yrs.. WHO??? WHO CAN I APPROACH?!!! ARE YOU WILLING TO LISTEN TO ME? ARE YOU WILLING TO LEND ME YOUR SHOULDERS?? ARE YOU WILLING TO DO ALL THAT?? Though I had loads of friends but I just don't know which one is my best friend..who can I count on?? Nadia,Ridtz,Matthew, Uma,Matz..... WHO????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Will they be there for me like what we've been always saying whenever we meet??!!haiz...I wanna tok to someone but WHO?!!! I just feel like being alone..where no one disturbs me,where I can just sit silently and be ALONE..but where,when?!! I doubt that my parents will consent me to go out..haiz...

Anyway guys,this isn't why I'm pissed with my bro..But it just struck me when I'm wrting this.. To those who have took great pains by reading this entry..My apology!!

In his deepest thoughts!!haiz..